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The Door would still be there, even if the Door was not. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea Spirits were brave, men boldly split infinitives that no man had split before.

Thus was the Empire forged. There would be no point in asking He attacked everything in life with a mixture of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence and it was often difficult to tell which was which.

If you'd like to know, I can tell you that in your Universe you move freely in three dimensions that you call space.

You move in a straight line in a fourth, which you call time, and stay rooted to one place in a fifth, which is the first fundamental of probability.

After that it gets a bit complicated, and there's all sorts of stuff going on in dimensions 13 to 22 that you really wouldn't want to know about.

All you really need to know for the moment is that the Universe is a lot more complicated then you might think.

You hadn't exactly gone out of your way to call attention to them had you? I mean like actually telling anyone or anything.

It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying "Beware of The Leopard".

They've got a page for people like you. It was constructed largely of papier mache and it was virtually impossible for a newly hatched baby eagle to break out of it.

The Damogran Frond Crested Eagle had heard of the notion of survival of the species but wanted no truck with it.

Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer.

It had had some bad times in there. Slowly, nervously, it entered and settled down into its accustomed position. He wasn't certain if this was because they were trying to see more clearly, or if they simply wanted to leave at this point.

It was a beak that would frighten any animal on earth, even one that was already dead and in a tin. Take as many as you like.

Won't do you a blind bit of good because they're only for Australian snakes. Oh yes, he was told, but not to worry - there hadn't been a serious crash now in months.

The only exception to this was when we were told that something would happen immediately, in which case it turned out not to be true over an extended period of time.

It is a very, very, very bad idea to even think of pulling its tail. It was a difference which kept the vast majority of the population alive from day to day.

Even the computer industry failed to see the importance of the Internet, but that's not saying much. Let's face it, the computer industry failed to see that the century would end.

The cat wasn't a sort of clunky mechanism that was susceptible to our available tools of analysis.

It was his job to do his job, which was to do his job. If that led to a certain narrowness of vision and circularity of thought then it wasn't his job to worry about such things.

They just act tame if they think they'll get a saucer of milk out of it. Only a child sees things with perfect clarity, because it hasn't developed all those filters, which prevent us from seeing things that we don't expect to see.

That forces you to sort it out in your own mind. And the more slow and dim-witted your pupil, the more you have to break things down into more and more simple ideas.

And that's really the essence of programming. By the time you've sorted out a complicated idea into little steps that even a stupid machine can deal with, you've certainly learned something about it yourself.

The teacher usually learns more than the pupil does. He left me in the walk-in, his voice echoing in my mind. Why would he say that?

Was he really crazy or was he just sparking my mind? Honestly, he made me hella nervous. Weeks go by and there is friction.

Everyone in the restaurant notices it. Our co-workers were merciless. My smile is contagious they said, like a "Death Trap" for unsuspecting men, and he had been caught in it.

His blue eyes had an equally devestating effect. Everyday i would find a reason to talk to him, to smile at him, to make him notice me.

He would ask questions; where i came from, why i was here of all places, and why i was so nice.

No one had ever taken notice to me the way he did. I didnt know what it felt like to be persued by a man and it made me uneasy.

A couple more weeks go by. The flirting continues and to top it all off, a work party is planned. Everyone that was cool would be there, or at least 'cool' in this life.

Which meant that everyone who was there would be smoking pot and getting schwasted on cheap vodka. I was the youngest one, the lightweight, the grasshopper of partyers.

I had a feeling that something unpleasant was in the realm of possibilities. One shot, two shots I go outside for some fresh air and im followed.

I think i may have drank a little too much. I feel a pat on my head and the door opens then closes. He's gone.

I can hear him telling others that im fine, that i said i'd be in after a while. I didnt say that, but i appreciated the extra time to gather myself.

We're all playing poker, the night is bits and pieces thanks to the alcohol. He touches my hand. We're sitting on the floor around the coffee table taking shots.

Hoping that no-one else notices that our bodies are touching. He grabs my hand and squeezes it. I squeeze back. He smiles at me, brushes his hand across my cheek when i smile back, and lightly pokes at my dimple.

I look in his eyes. The deepest eyes I've ever gazed into. The only eyes that i've ever become lost in. The only eyes that have ever left me absolutely breathless.

I get nervous, suddenly im possessed with something, and i feel that i know what to do. I lean in and kiss him.

Our lips are soft against eachother. It's like electricity starting at my lips, travelling through my body, waking up my soul. We kiss and time stops.

The world slows its turning, the moment is cherished, remembered even in its happenning. As his lips left mine, i knew they would be missed.

Not just in the future, but in the moment as well. And that's how it started, the end of my life. We used to tell eachother thats what happens when a tornado meets a volcano.

We knew it would end in disaster, but it just felt so right. We were best friends. We were stupid. We have mondays off and decided to go to dinner and a movie.

He has a girlfriend and i know its wrong, but i cant help it. He gets called into work so i wait. My window blinds are open in my bedroom.

Sitting on my bed reading a book i get a text. It was on the way to his house and i dont know why he would want to take me to a sit down restaurant anyways.

Scary movies and some fast food. That was us. I wasn't hard to please and neither was He. We make our order, get our food, and head to his house.

Getting off of work late had ruined dinner plans and he was kind of on edge. I was nervous too. The drive to his house seemed so long, when i didnt know my way around town yet.

In reality, it was only about fifteen miles from my house. Sure he wasnt a stranger, but in that moment, riding into a dark, heavily wooded area seemed creepy as shit.

He relaxed me. Holding my hand, talking about how he hated work and how glad he was that i was with him. We see lights behind us. Uh Walton? Tall and gankly, he shined the flashlight into the car.

I smile and wave with a Taco bell drink in my hand. He smiles back nodding his head in my direction. It's obvious your just tryin' to make it home.

Ya'll have a good night. Piggy says, handing Him back the license and insurance. If i had been by myself, i woulda went to jail.

Im ready to smoke a joint now. It looked like a home. Not just a house decorated to perfection. We walk past the kitchen where his mom is cooking, into his room.

I knew he lived with his parents, so i wasnt surprised. We had talked a lot about eachothers lives the past few weeks and were eager to hang out again outside of work.

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